Permission Granted

Cruising along in my car...

Jamming to the tunes... 

Windows down and windblown hair...

Following my friend to a popular downtown area so we could park near each other...

Compulsion to be nice and let another car over in front of me as I'm following friend...

Wait. What??? 

We all get it.  I'm the nice girl.  I like to help, be gracious and serve others.  Maybe you can relate.  And this is by no means saying that you, or I, or anyone for that matter should be otherwise.  What I'm realizing though, is that we often give other people permission to run our lives or make decisions for us when they don't even know our story.  It wasn't that drivers fault that she was separating my car from that of my friend.  It was completely my fault for granting her that right.  She had no idea and never will.

Guess who knows my story far better than anyone else?  Far better than even I do.  I'm sure you know where I'm going with this...My Heavenly Father, who knows every thought I have, every hair on my head, and is aware of my future...He speaks to me.  Sometimes I listen to others more than I do to Him. Heck, probably more often than not I'm listening to others first, thereby giving them permission to set me on a detour away from where He wants me to head.

The beauty of detours, dead-ends, and wrong turns?  They don't have to be permanent. 

What is God speaking to you today?

Poem Fragments Chpt. 1

My inspiration for poems usually come in 2-3 short sentences or phrases that I usually don't have time or take the time to fully develop.  Sharing a few here just as motivation to maybe sit down and finish at least one or two before too long.  Do any of the poem fragments below pique our interest, let me know, I may just choose that particular poem to finish and share it's meaning. PS: Do not be concerned about the melancholy tone to most of my poems (such as they are), I tend me be inspired poetically when I'm wearing my "thinking cap".  There are plenty of moments filled with peace and joy that just don't inspire me to write quite as much! 

_____

The hustle and bustle of the city
A barrage of all things petty
This constant ebb and flow of contented, then not
This feeling of being stuck in my current life's lot
This is where I am, this is where I stand
This is me in quick sand
This is me hoping for something, but what?
This is me wishing I had the guts
Guts to move when Father says go
Guts to stay when He says lay low

_____

Contemplating life in an unorganized manner
You know what they say about a brain that is scattered?

_____

Keep me young until I die
Let me experience life while fully alive
 _____

She walks with purpose, not looking back
She exudes more confidence than she actually has

_____

Feeling left out, while making major decisions
God if you would, make known me your vision

Symptoms of a Good Listener

In my listening, my "looking into your eyes", do you see acceptance or surprise?  Do you have a sense of me holding onto every word? That I've got your back, as I should?  Do I respond with appropriate questions?

On the other hand, have I failed to mention..Do you brush off every gentle reprimand, bringing the conversation to a halting, screeching, end?  You see, it goes both ways. Encouragement and tough love.  A gentle push, a shove, in the right direction. Might cause some friction, but meant with all sincerity, while being full of uncertainty.  Will you still embrace me?

Now that I've been a sounding board, however imperfect, whether or not my advice was a sure fit...Can we turn the tables..are you also able?  In this day and age, we both need to spew out what's bottled inside, we both know the dangers of trying to hide.  Every negative feeling, emotion, and thought, can erode, can explode...And yes, no matter our particular life journey, whether joy or negativity...we all need someone who can listen, or is is really. just. me.??

Don't let it be true, that a symptom of a good listener is, well, no one listens to her.

----
That's it.  Found this unfinished piece in my draft folder.  It is raw.  But it's how us responsible, shy, introverted types feel on occasion.  Like we are good at listening but don't always have that person in our lives, a mentor as sorts, who will pour into us, be the first one to reach out on occasion, challenge, inspire, and encourage us.  I recognize that more people probably feel this way than we know.  In that regard, how can I be a better friend to you?

The Problem With Love

(My first real attempt at spoken word.  A call for all Christians to remember to truly love like Jesus at all times, even when defending your faith and Biblical beliefs.  Don't forget the people, they are all precious to God and deserving of His unmerited favor and love.)

The Problem With Love

The problem with love, these days:  It's fake. It's faded. It's artificially created. It's genetically modified, self-justified, only love you if you can see MY side.  I couldn't love you, I TRIED! So now, I'll just hide...hide behind my rock-solid beliefs, while giving everybody, who even remotely disagrees, grief. Of sinners, I am chief.  But, do I ever show weakness?  Do I ever display meekness? Do I get off my high horse to serve?  Does our Heavenly Father give me what I deserve?  No.  A thousand times no.  Of this, I am certain. When Christ died, the curtain...Need I say more...the curtain: it no longer exists.  It was torn in two.  I was made new.  His love for me is vast.  My sin...our sin, was cast...into the depth of the sea.  So let's learn to love like HE: The Great I Am, who became but a man.  Who's love can't be measured. Love, a precious treasure. 

Love like Jesus.

The Collector

As a child and into my teen years, I was an avid collector of...mostly junk.  I went through different phases where I collected coins, stamps, Berenstain Bear Books, Lisa Frank stationery sets, playing cards, and oddest of all...state souvenir spoons.  You know, those awkwardly small spoons with the scroll designs engraved into them and an icon to represent one of the states.  You can bet I wasn't eating my morning cereal with these babies. Nope, they mostly stayed in the box and collected dust.   You can stop laughing now, years ago state spoons were coveted souvenirs...within the senior citizen community anyway.  Okay, I guess you have permission to laugh.

Want to know which items in my collection were the ones that I enjoyed the most?  You guessed it, the items that I actually took out of the box and USED!

Within the last few months, I got back together with an old "acquaintance" of mine that I've had a love-hate relationship with off and on for years, jogging. Jogging and I haven't always gotten along.  I hated the personal assessment running tests I had to do in high school,  but gave it a go again in my adult years.  I came to both love and hate it, but I could feel every cell in my being wanting to love it; Except my right knee.  My right knee and jogging were mortal enemies.  Thankfully at this point in my life they have learned to be in the same room without trying to kill each other.

One buffer between my knee and running came in the form of expensive running shoes.  If you know me well, then you know me to be fairly cheap, so I cringe to tell you how much they cost...$100.00 on sale!  Maybe to you that's no big deal, but it was hard for me to fork over the cash for something that needs to be replaced every 400-500 miles. Being the cheapskate that I am, I googled how to care for running shoes.  I knew if I wasn't careful that I could become obsessive.  In the beginning, I refused to leave them in my car - and honestly I still try not to (The internet guru told me that cold and hot can ruin the shoe's adhesives).  I purchased the shoes on a Thursday, and a group run was scheduled for the following, rainy, Saturday morning. Since I hadn't rejoined a gym by that point, I wasn't able to test the shoes out on a safe, dry surface as much as I wanted to.  I almost skipped the group run that day because I was afraid of ruining my new shoes.  Can you imagine, running shoes that I was afraid of running in?!?  I nearly turned my running shoes into a collection that didn't get any use.

Do we "collect" things in our spiritual lives?  I know I'm guilty of this.  I have a multitude of Bibles: a study Bible, a new journaling Bible, and the Bible app on my phone; but how often do I really read and absorb the scriptures?  2 Timothy 3:16 says "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, (ESV)"  Sometimes I think we tend to believe a distorted version of 2 Timothy 3:16 that goes something like this: "All scripture must be printed on beautiful paper, leather bound, engraved in gold, sitting on a shelf artfully arranged next to a vase of flowers following the guidelines of Feng Shui"

When does a collection become less about collecting, and more like clutter?  I often come across the quote (pictured on the left) by Willam Morris on Pinterest.  I find it to be a simple concept that still manages to inspire and challenge me not to let my living areas get too cluttered. 

The same can apply in our spiritual lives.  We may may be collecting beautiful, life-giving things, that aren't getting used.  Or, we may be holding onto "clutter" that slowly can overwhelm and eventually cripple us from joyful living.  (I'm picturing every episode of Hoarders I have ever seen right about now).  What are you holding onto?  Bitterness?  The need to control? Fear? Fear is usually a big one for me, that and the constant need to compare myself with others.  I clutter my life with fear, comparison, etc., leave my Bible looking pretty on the shelf, and expect to have room to collect and manifest beauty in my life?

We tend to discard the useful, and hold onto the trash with an iron fist.  Whether you are collecting  something good that's not getting put to good use, or piling up clutter in your life, the good news is that God is always good!  He never turns us away because we haven't come to Him as often as we should. He is waiting with open arms to accept His call to be our Papa, our Abba Father, all over again; or maybe for the first time. Jesus will take our ashes, and give us beauty instead. Accept His beauty in your life.  Embrace it.  Wear it like a treasured piece of jewelry.  Your story isn't over, it's just beginning. And your life is a beautiful masterpiece to the Father.

Hanging On By a Thread

A very small poem I wrote some time ago for someone I know who struggles with a chronic illness. Whatever you are going through. Hold on!

Holding On By a Thread

Hanging on by a thread

She's battered and bruised yet

Far from dead

Being fed lies but

Trusts Father instead

Hanging on, for she understands,

that up ahead is

 the Promised Land

The Maintenance Mission

Ever feel like you are just "maintaining" in life?

My least favorite room of the house to clean is the kitchen.  I'm convinced that kitchen's were designed to be always dirty.  How many times do you clean the kitchen, only to cook a big meal and dirty it again?  I don't often get that particular room completely clean .  Often, the dishwasher doesn't get unloaded until there is another dirty load waiting on the counter.  Between being busy (but never lazy, of course!), cooking and doing dishes take long enough that I don't often get to the other areas of cleaning.  Forget sweeping and mopping.  Cleaning the oven; people really do that?!? Shining the sink? Only for super women.

My method of cleaning sometimes consists of maintaining a certain standard, instead of taking it up a notch.  How often to we simply "maintain" in our spiritual lives as well?  Instead of spending quality time with God everyday, we may settle for a quick bedtime prayer.  Instead of reading the Bible, we surf the internet...but it's okay because we posted a scripture to Facebook or Twitter.  Get the idea? I can be guilty of this.

You may be thinking, "Okay, I get what your saying, but that's better than nothing, right?"  Well sure, but what might you be missing in life by not digging deeper?  In the kitchen, a few crumbs on the floor could make it uncomfortable to walk barefoot.  In life, any number of small things can simply cause you to miss out on experiencing all of God.  He is always there with open arms, ready and willing to spend time with you! (Believe me when I tell you that I'm preaching to the choir here as well.)

Ready for the irony?  Get out of that kitchen, let it be dirty for awhile...and enjoy spending time with your Father.

From Birth to Beard

From Birth to Beard

From birth to beard

This Man now grown

Savior of mankind

Though to many unknown

His helpless cries

Became undaunted resolution

To free us of

Sin's pollution

From birth to beard
A child no longer
His life and death
Can make you stronger

He came to recover
Abundant life kidnapped
His life today's gift
ready and unwrapped

Will you accept??

-Sarah

12/25/2013

 

To Be Wanted

"In all our contacts it is probably the sense of being really 

needed and wanted which gives us the greatest satisfaction and 

creates the most lasting bond."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

If you're like me, they you may at times feel almost guilty for wanting to be noticed, loved, cherished, or considered important.  Society teaches us to be strong and independent.  You may have been taught (or learned the hard way) not to depend on others, because they will just let you down.

Do you every feel guilty for needing to be needed, and does that mean this desire isn't from God?  Not at all.

I believe God has put that desire for companionship/love in us, consider these 2 brief points...

• God made Eve for Adam so Adam wouldn't be alone. (Genesis 2:18)
• There are many scriptures in the Bible about friendship.

So it seems that God has put an innate desire in us to want to be loved, accepted, and important to others.  Still, the desire for others should never surpass our desire for being wanted and loved by God.

Well guess what?  God wants to be noticed, cherished, and important in your life too!

The other day during worship, I started thinking about this desire of ours to be wanted.  Different scenarios played out in my head of times I had felt wanted and how special it felt.  God brought to mind the many hugs and exclamations of, "Ms. Sarah!" I get in the mornings from my preschoolers.  I recalled one of my girls, who will soon be leaving us to attend Kindergarten, often telling me that I am still her favorite teacher. 

I hope you know that God wants YOU, yes you!  He longs for you to spend time with Him.  He aches for you in the same way that a single person may desire to get married.  He hungers for you more than one may hunger for their favorite meal after not eating all day.  He longs for you more than an addict needs his next fix.  His desire is for YOU. You are wanted.

God needs to be wanted, by YOU!

When you ignore that time with Him...God actually becomes jealous! (Deuteronomy 4:24)  Interesting, because jealousy is usually considered to be a negative trait, and is most of the time.  Did you know that Oprah was turned off to Christianity, because she heard a preacher say that God is jealous God?  I don't know about you, but to me that brings amazement.  God wants to spend time with little insignificant me?  Yep.  Not just the preachers, not just the missionary workers, but you and me!

So don't keep God jealous any longer of all the time you spend on facebook, TV, texting, etc....Spend some time with Him. 

Know what it's like to be wanted and fulfilled!

Stretched and Pulled

I found the following article here: http://skitguys.com/blog/post/stretched-and-pulled .  While I normally post my own musings / poetry, however mediocre they may be, This skit guys post addresses what I am going through right now.  I think we can all relate, feeling many trials and tribulations in our lives, but not knowing or understanding God's purpose in all of it.  Read below.  Good stuff.

-----

Read This: "But we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope."
- Romans 5:3-4

Think: I don't know about you, but I really enjoyed my high school Chemistry class. Bunsen burners, test tubes, and lack of direct supervision made for some good times.
I remember at Christmas one year we made taffy for fun (also to understand the chemical composition of this highly malleable substance… or something like that). Anyway, I made some watermelon-banana taffy and it wasn't all that great. The problem wasn't so much in the taste as it was in the texture. It hadn't been pulled and stretched enough, so it was very weak. To get really good taffy, it needs to be pulled and stretched a lot.
Isn't this what God is doing in us here in this life? He doesn't allow trials in our life for some sick and twisted pleasure of His. That wouldn't be consistent with a great God of love. No, God allows tribulation so that we can be stretched and pulled. What we look at as an awful situation, God looks at as an opportunity to develop our character. We see the trial, God sees the result. Like taffy, we need to be pulled in order to become mature.
Most of us say we want to grow, but when tribulations come we either run away from God or pray that He would put a quick end to the situation.  God never promises to deliver us from trials, but He does promise to deliver us through them.  We have the responsibility to persevere with hearts of faith. 
Ask: What trials are you going through right now in your life?  Is your desire to be stretched by God and grow in your faith?  Are you willing to look at these trials as opportunities to grow instead of as nuisances about which to complain?
Pray: Lord, I thank you for Your faithfulness through all of life’s circumstances.  In the trials I am facing now, I trust that You are in control and will not let me go.  Give me the strength to persevere.  Teach me what You desire that I might grow in my character and understanding.  I am wholly Yours.  Amen

Josh Matlock is lead pastor at Bethany of Montclair in CA.

My Daughter Cries

Recently, my young adults group at church did a series based on the 4 names of God in Isaiah 9:6

For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Out of those 4 names, "Everlasting Father" stuck out to me the most.  For me, there's something very special about God being a forever father to us.  Even though we fail Him, and turn away in one respect or another, or don't trust Him to work out the details of our lives, His word says He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6).

I've had the idea of a poem running around my brain for a few weeks now based on God as our Everlasting Father.  I had tried to write a few lines, but couldn't get it just right.  Well, last night, I had the privilege of hearing or rehearing many of my close friends give their testimonies.  Many of the ladies mentioned a breaking point, where they literally cried out to God. For me, this was a confirmation to work on and finish the poem.  Long story short, finished now, but I will most likely go back and edit it at a later date.  I know the style of poetry is a little different, but hopefully a reminder to you of God's continuous love for us!

(Note: If you are reading this and have never had the opportunity to know God as your savior and father, comment and I can  tell you what to do or answer any questions you may have)

My Daughter Cries

My daughter cries

Believing Satan's lies

She's Preparing her disguise

From prying eyes

Silence, her great demise

With constant fear in her eyes

Everyday, she newly dies

Well, try this on for size

My daughter cries, I weep

Her pain ever mindful, losing sleep

I as the shepherd, her as a sheep

She turns away, I play for keeps

My daughter cries as I weep

I'm righting her wrongs, I never sleep

The Shepherd never forsakes His sheep

My daughter forever, mine for keeps

The Imposter's Rage

The following poem was inspired largely by Daniel 3 -  when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown in the fiery furnace.  Verse 13 says that King Nebuchadnezzar felt "furious rage" (ESV) when he learned that they wouldn't bow down to him.  

 I started thinking about how easy it is to do things other people tell us to do, maybe because they carry some sort of power or influence over our lives; or we find it easier to just "follow the crowd".  Or maybe, the wrong way just seems to make sense.  Remember though, God's word in Isaiah (55: 8-9) say that God's ways are not our own.  Therefore,  many times we won't understand why He asks us to do or not do something.

We may follow these "imposters" of God (satan, flawed humans, our own flesh) largely out of fear of what the outcome could be otherwise.  Rest assured, God has our back if we will but follow and obey him.  Don't succumb to fear!

The Imposter's Rage

Don't let the imposter's rage

Take center stage

To obey reasons voice

As if you have but one choice

Don't let the imposter's wrath

Direct you off the right path

A path leading to destruction

Away from the King's instruction

The imposter will exclaim

"Follow me for earthly gain"

The King, voice still and small

Proclaims, "Fear not, I'm your all in all"

Waiting

My favorite quote on home decorating.  I pinned this to one of my boards on Pinterest a while back, and it really helped me gain perspective on redoing our old trailer where we live.  I started trying things I had little to no knowledge of, and not worrying {quite} so much about what I cannot yet change.

I dare say, it can be applied to spiritual life as well.  We may choose not to act in ways God has called us because we think we are not "good" enough.  You may feel you have to be prettier, more outgoing, a better singing/speaker...I understand this far too well, but since I learned to start doing more in faith - though I have a long way to go - God has been faithful and given me jobs to do for Him that I never would have done on my own.

God has called YOU to do work for His kingdom, and to walk along other Christians as you do so...for your weakness might be another one's strengths.  Don't wait until you become this perfect person.  It won't happen.  Do seek God.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Wallflower

Wallflower

Hey flower, yeah you, planted by the wall

I see you, I do, cowering so small

You're hiding, disguising, your growth and height

But sadly, that hiding, is diminishing my light

So happens, you've been trying, not to sprout

Or growing, not knowing, and full of doubt

Doesn't help, those weeds, that suffocate the ground

Lying weeds, confining weeds, growing all around  

Those weeds, don't worry, their demise will come

Remember, they'll surrender, this Gardener's not done  

 

Sturdy Sticks / Ask and Tell

Do you ever wonder if what God has spoken to you is a personal message, or if it's meant to be shared with others?  A while back some pastor friends helped me to understand that if God has spoken something to me, and I can't get it out of my head / almost have an anxiousness about it...that chances are it is meant to be shared with others.  Even if it means "going out on a limb" spiritually speaking.  Obviously, we still have to make sure it was God who spoke and check to see if it lines up with scripture.  Also, there is a time and place to share.  Keep seeking God and he will guide you.

God often speaks to me through analogies from everyday life.  God and His word also inspire me to write poetry on occasion, more now than in the past, though many of my poems are yet to be finished.  I still don't completely know when/where to share these things.  But it's time for me to "go out on a limb" here starting by actively writing on the blog.  If it blesses you or applies to your life, great!  If not, I still believe I am taking a step of faith for God to use me in this little way.

I will start now with a journal entry I wrote in May of 2009, followed by a poem I wrote in February of 2012 (also not finished yet) that I discovered both have the same theme.

Sturdy Sticks

The other day on a walk I came across a couple fat, sturdy looking sticks.  Upon picking up the first stick, I felt it promptly break in half.  The same thing happened to the second stick.  They looked strong and dependable, and were a good 3/4 of an inch thick.  I found the sticks on a day that had been raining earlier.  The sticks were affected by the environment around them.

We, like the sticks, get bombarded with our environment where it can be hard to stay strong.  Still, we usually have no trouble looking like we have it all together.  On the outside, we look strong and dependable.  While on the inside, we may be ready to break.  We all go through hard times at least once in a while.  Why not share your heart with someone trustworthy today.  Let's not pretend to be something were not; but rather become what God desires of us together.

Ask and Tell

You ask, I may tell
Hold back, I as well

But no, seems I lie
Always look together, or so I try

I'll say "I'm fine" when I'm not
Give a smile, all I got

Beauty for Ashes

Isaiah 61:3 (NLT) -
To all who mourn in Israel,

he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the LORD has planted for his own glory.

What does the phrase "beauty for ashes" mean to you? I'm still figuring it out, but it's definitely been a scripture on my mind lately. I see it as an exchange, or even as something new being created out of something old. God is so good! He can take our broken lives, give us joy, and use us in helping spread the good news of the Bible. Wow. Every time God uses me, even in such little ways, I am overwhelmed...but I am learning that being overwhelmed in God isn't such a bad thing.

Go ahead and spend some time with God today, and be overwhelmed.

(I'm new at this blogging thing...but sending out this first - short - post NOW to keep me from being too nervous and not doing it. This has not been edited by anyone smart, yet. Any takers? Seriously though, let me know if you have any thoughts suggestions, or questions.)