Permission Granted

Cruising along in my car...

Jamming to the tunes... 

Windows down and windblown hair...

Following my friend to a popular downtown area so we could park near each other...

Compulsion to be nice and let another car over in front of me as I'm following friend...

Wait. What??? 

We all get it.  I'm the nice girl.  I like to help, be gracious and serve others.  Maybe you can relate.  And this is by no means saying that you, or I, or anyone for that matter should be otherwise.  What I'm realizing though, is that we often give other people permission to run our lives or make decisions for us when they don't even know our story.  It wasn't that drivers fault that she was separating my car from that of my friend.  It was completely my fault for granting her that right.  She had no idea and never will.

Guess who knows my story far better than anyone else?  Far better than even I do.  I'm sure you know where I'm going with this...My Heavenly Father, who knows every thought I have, every hair on my head, and is aware of my future...He speaks to me.  Sometimes I listen to others more than I do to Him. Heck, probably more often than not I'm listening to others first, thereby giving them permission to set me on a detour away from where He wants me to head.

The beauty of detours, dead-ends, and wrong turns?  They don't have to be permanent. 

What is God speaking to you today?

Poem Fragments Chpt. 1

My inspiration for poems usually come in 2-3 short sentences or phrases that I usually don't have time or take the time to fully develop.  Sharing a few here just as motivation to maybe sit down and finish at least one or two before too long.  Do any of the poem fragments below pique our interest, let me know, I may just choose that particular poem to finish and share it's meaning. PS: Do not be concerned about the melancholy tone to most of my poems (such as they are), I tend me be inspired poetically when I'm wearing my "thinking cap".  There are plenty of moments filled with peace and joy that just don't inspire me to write quite as much! 

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The hustle and bustle of the city
A barrage of all things petty
This constant ebb and flow of contented, then not
This feeling of being stuck in my current life's lot
This is where I am, this is where I stand
This is me in quick sand
This is me hoping for something, but what?
This is me wishing I had the guts
Guts to move when Father says go
Guts to stay when He says lay low

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Contemplating life in an unorganized manner
You know what they say about a brain that is scattered?

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Keep me young until I die
Let me experience life while fully alive
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She walks with purpose, not looking back
She exudes more confidence than she actually has

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Feeling left out, while making major decisions
God if you would, make known me your vision

Symptoms of a Good Listener

In my listening, my "looking into your eyes", do you see acceptance or surprise?  Do you have a sense of me holding onto every word? That I've got your back, as I should?  Do I respond with appropriate questions?

On the other hand, have I failed to mention..Do you brush off every gentle reprimand, bringing the conversation to a halting, screeching, end?  You see, it goes both ways. Encouragement and tough love.  A gentle push, a shove, in the right direction. Might cause some friction, but meant with all sincerity, while being full of uncertainty.  Will you still embrace me?

Now that I've been a sounding board, however imperfect, whether or not my advice was a sure fit...Can we turn the tables..are you also able?  In this day and age, we both need to spew out what's bottled inside, we both know the dangers of trying to hide.  Every negative feeling, emotion, and thought, can erode, can explode...And yes, no matter our particular life journey, whether joy or negativity...we all need someone who can listen, or is is really. just. me.??

Don't let it be true, that a symptom of a good listener is, well, no one listens to her.

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That's it.  Found this unfinished piece in my draft folder.  It is raw.  But it's how us responsible, shy, introverted types feel on occasion.  Like we are good at listening but don't always have that person in our lives, a mentor as sorts, who will pour into us, be the first one to reach out on occasion, challenge, inspire, and encourage us.  I recognize that more people probably feel this way than we know.  In that regard, how can I be a better friend to you?